Tuesday, October 30, 2012


By: David Rock
Published: October 12, 2012; Psychology Today; http://www.psychologytoday.com  Alternatively, just google the title and writer’s name.
Level of difficulty: ***
Search for a video to watch or a talk to listen to on creativity (try ted.com). Then discuss the following questions:
-          Are people born creative or do they learn to be creative?
-          Can creativity be nurtured? How? Provide some examples.
-          Can people be made less creative over time? How? Provide some examples.
1.       Why are innovative ideas so very important in the modern business world? Answer in your own words.
2.       What does “this” refer to in the phrase “how this happens” in paragraph 2?
3.       The writer says “thinking is the core of our existence and civilization.” What is the impact of failure to think properly at the workplace? Be precise.
4.       What is the function of the last two sentences of paragraph 3 and paragraph 4?
5.       What does “The research” at the beginning of paragraph 7 refer to?
6.       What is the function of paragraph 8? Explain.
7.       The writer says “Thus we have insights when our overall activity level in the brain is low”. Why does such a state lead to innovative thinking? Be brief and careful. There are two possible answers. Try and find them both.
8.       What suggestion would you give a boss who wanted to foster quiet minds in the work place? What changes could he implement? Use your own opinions
9.       The writer states that “we tend to meander between these two states – being externally focused or being internally focused – all the time. Why doesn’t this prevalent mode of thinking lead to innovative thought? You will need to tweak the text and be very careful!
10.   Why does anxiety reduce creativity?
11.   People who stop trying to solve a problem – are distracted – are more likely to hit on a creative solution because ………………………………………………………………………………………………
12.   Why is brainstorming as a team the worst way to hit on creative solutions?
13.   What alternative method does the writer suggest?
14.   What is the function of the last paragraph? How do you know?
Write a problem/ solution essay on the measures you would suggest to increase creativity in the workplace. Use the plan below and remember to provide examples.
In your introduction, use information you gleaned from the talks you listened to, the videos you watched and the text to discuss the importance of creativity in the workplace.
In your development, discuss the solutions suggested in the text and provide practical examples of your own. The solutions are as follows: having a quiet mind, introspection, being happy and stopping trying to solve a problem.
In your conclusion, write a restatement or suggest that the modern workplace has to change along with the mind set of managers to derive the most benefit from the workforce. You will need to elaborate on this idea.
This wonderful text on a very topical issue which a lot of people will immediately recognize should go down very well with young professionals but also with our students because the methods the bosses employ are very similar to the ones the students have always been accustomed to. Although some of the questions are relatively easy, there are some seriously challenging ones like question 9. I feel it is always good to have a few questions like this to see who can answer them. I would recommend ted.com for a listening activity before you tackle the text.
  1. Possible answer: innovative ideas mean greater revenues; lack of them means loss
  2. The “aha” moment
  3. Bosses don’t perform at their fullest; they fail to get the most out of their subordinates. OR bosses hinder overall employee performance as an alternative for the second one.
  4. Thesis statement and expansion or support.
  5. The research that shows that solving a problem that requires a creative out-of-the-box solution prompts changes in the brain that do not occur under normal problem solving conditions.
  6. It provides transition from the description of the “aha” moment to how to have more “aha” moments. It is a bridge paragraph.
  7. Because we have millions of neurons constantly speaking to each other, we only notice the weaker, less noticeable connections when our overall activity level is low. OR, insights require a quiet mind because they themselves are quiet.
  8. Possible answer: install a gym in the basement or a ping pong table like Google has done in its head office.
  9. Because their resources are split or divided.
  10. Because people become tunnel visioned.
  11. They notice the quiet signals of insight.
  12. Because it creates a lot of mental noise.
  13. Defining a question as a group then individuals taking time out to do something interesting but repetitive and simple for a while.
  14. The conclusion. It goes beyond the essay. It is much more general.


“We can learn a lot from psychopaths. Certain aspects of their personalities and intellect are often hallmarks of success”
By: Kevin Dutton
Published: Scientific American, October 12, 2012; http://scientificamerican.com Alternatively, google the title and writer’s name.
Level of difficulty: ***
Documentary to watch
·         “I am fishead: are corporate leaders psychopaths?” http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/i-am-fishead-are-corporate-leaders-psychopaths/  
·          “I, psychopath”  http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/i-psychopath/
                    “Psychopath” http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/psychopath/

It is suggested that you watch and make notes on videos concerning the qualities of leaders, CEO, business leaders as well as serious criminals (try ted.com). When you have done so, discuss what you have learnt with your friends. Make a note of the conclusions you reach. Then access the following podcast and listen carefully. You will find the accompanying text on the same sight. Copy paste to access:

1.       Why do some people continue along their chosen path with a complete disregard for social, moral and legal consequences? Be explicit.
2.       Read paragraphs 2, 3, 4 and 5. What is the point the writer is trying to make? Use your own words.
3.       What is your personal opinion of Doctor Geraghty?
4.       What does “these” refer to in the phrase “claims like these” in paragraph 8?
5.       What do you think is meant by the term “inner city”? Use your own words.
6.       What do you think is meant by the term “soundtrack” in this text? Use your own words.
7.       Read as far as Trolleyology. Was the initial hypothesis of the writer proved or disproved as a result of the experiment? What is the implication of this result?
Read the section titled “Trolleyology” to the end.
8.       In what respect do the reactions of normal people and psychopaths resemble each other? With respect to their reaction to …………………………………………………………………………………………
9.       In what respect do the reactions of normal people and psychopaths differ from each other? With respect to their reaction to ……………………………………………………………………………………………
10.   What specific physical difference is observed in psychopaths?
11.   The above means that in the case of psychopaths, reasoning / rational thought / empathy doesn’t / don’t enter the mix. Circle the correct answers.
Read “The Psychopath Mix”
12.   In the study conducted by Board and Fritzon, serial killers and mass murderers greatly surpassed business leaders in the following aspects: ………………………………………………………
13.   Does Mehmet Mahmout’s research prove or disprove Board and Fritzon’s findings? How do you know?
14.   What does “This” refer to in the phrase “This, Mahmout suggests, means that the two groups should not be viewed…”
15.   What surprising finding was made in the study involving first year undergraduates? Use your own words.
16.   Why is insensitivity considered such an asset by businessmen? Use your own words.
Write a definition essay discussing the qualities of an ideal CEO. Use the notes you made while listening and watching videos, the information you gleaned from the text and the plan below.
In your introduction, discuss the modern business world, the rise of large conglomerates and multinationals and the displacement of the owner-manager by high power CEO. End your introduction with a thesis statement: A successful CEO needs to have various positive and negative characteristics to be able to achieve his goals.
In your first developmental paragraph, discuss the following qualities: determination, charm, fearlessness, focus and curiosity. Remember to provide a topic sentence and examples.
In your second developmental paragraph, discuss ruthlessness, insensitivity and lack of morals. Remember to provide a topic sentence and examples.
In your conclusion, make a restatement.
If any text has a wow factor, this is it. In terms capturing the attention of the students, this text is off the charts! I expect it to fly. Also, the text comes up with some surprising and interesting information guaranteeing that attention won’t wander. There is text related writing task but I do suggest a few videos off ted.com concerning the qualities of CEO and a discussion first.
1.       Because they have a grandiose sense of self worth, persuasiveness, superficial charm, ruthlessness, lack of remorse and the ability to manipulate others.
2.       Possible answer: All these examples share various qualities.
3.       Open ended.
4.       Paragraph 7, starting “the arsonist……” then “the kid with a knife….”
5.       A serious psychopath.
6.       The selection of psychopathic traits.
7.       It was proved. Zeroing in on weakness may well be part of a serial killers tool kit.
8.       The first experiment; OR: in the case of an impersonal moral dilemna
9.       The second case. OR: in the case of a personal moral dilemna
10.   In psychopaths, the amygdale and related brain circuits remain dark.
11.   Empathy.
12.   Law breaking, physical aggression and impulsivity
13.   It proves it. Other studies seem to confirm the mixing deck picture…
14.   The fact that patterns of brain dysfunction observed in criminal and non criminal psychopaths exhibit dimensional rather than discrete differences.
15.   CEO, spies, politicians, the military, serial killers, assassins and bank robbers were put together in one group.
16.   It means they don’t have a conscience to distress them 


Piracy off the coast of Somalia, in the western Indian Ocean, has become a very serious issue. The financial cost and the human cost have reached epic proportions. Allowing pirates to run riot in these seas is unacceptable. This being the case certain measures have been taken and certain others still need to be implemented to address the problem. Write an essay in which you discuss the solutions that have been implemented and those that are still in the pipe line. Before you do so, research the topic and make notes on what you read and listen to.
In your introduction, discuss the problem of Somali pirates, how they operate and the effects their exploits have had briefly using the notes you made while doing your research.
In the first paragraph of your development, discuss the successful solutions that have already been implemented such as placing armed guards on the bridge, wings and back of ships, applying “best management practice”; i.e., barbed wire around the deck, high freeboard ( the part of the ship which is above sea level) and having international navies patrolling the area.
In the second paragraph of your development, outline the measures that are yet to be implemented like cracking down on pirates on land, arresting and bringing the pirates to justice, focusing on underlying problems leading to piracy such as poverty, instability and the like.
In your conclusion, make a restatement or write generally about how international organizations need to act together to deal with global problems like piracy.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


By: Bill Keller
Published: The New York Times; October7, 2012; http://www.nytimes.com Alternatively, just google the title and author’s name
Level of Difficulty: **
- Have you ever known any terminally ill people?
-  Do you think people should be treated even if it is certain they are going to die?
- What do you feel about just giving such people pain medication and making them comfortable?
What really matters at the end of life  https://www.ted.com/talks/bj_miller_what_really_matters_at_the_end_of_life
1.       Read the story of Anthony Gilbey. Now complete the following sentence: Doctors could have prolonged Gilbey’s life by means of ............................................................................................
2.       The hospital where Gilbey lay allows patients to refuse ............................................................
3.       What misconception concerning the Liverpool Pathway is emphasized in the text?
4.       Read paragraph 5 carefully. What do you think “concurred” means?
5.       All treatment of Gilbey was stopped with the exception of ......................................................
6.       What is the difference of attitude between the US and the UK to humane-end-of-life-practices? Use your own words.
7.       Humane-end-of-life-practices are opposed due to three straightforward reasons. They are:
8.       Humane-end-of-life-practices could benefit the government and society as a whole because they would .................................................................................................................................
9.       The affordable care act is praised in the text for the following three reasons: .........................
10.   What does “that” refer to in the sentence “But I am beginning to think that is both questionable politics and bad politics”?
11.   Why are humane-end-of-life-practices not such cost savers as one may think?
12.   Why do doctors in the UK never focus on cost when applying the Liverpool Protocol?
13.   What is the main argument in favour of humane-end-of-life-practices according to the writer?
14.   Which is the concluding statement of the text and what does it refer to? For the latter, use your own words.
First alternative: write a paragraph or an essay concerning your views on humane-end-of-life-practices
Second alternative: write an argumentative essay supporting or opposing humane-end-of-life-practices. Your purpose in the essay is to support your own views and refute the counter arguments. If you have doubts about organization, check out some examples in the file marked ”sample student essays and paragraphs”
In your introduction: introduce the concept –what humane-end-of-life-practices are. Then express your view in the thesis statement.
The arguments for are as follows: allowing patients to die a dignified death, not prolonging suffering when there is no hope, directing scarce resources to patients who could actually benefit, treatment of the big three is big business generating huge incomes to private hospitals.
The arguments against are as follows: it is a back door to euthanasia, religious reasons, doctors have taken an oath to do their best to save lives, loss of income as treatment of the big three is big business
In your conclusion: suggest ways in which the quality of life of terminally ill patients could be improved or write a restatement
This brilliant little text introduces a controversial issue at a simple level. That being the case, it can be used to introduce argumentative essays to students with quite limited English. This, I feel, is the greatest advantage of the text. I would suggest stopping for discussions as you make your way through the text.
1.       Aggressive treatment
2.       The frantic end-of-life assault of drastic measures
3.       That it is about hastening death
4.       Agreed
5.       The drip to keep pain and nausea at bay
6.       Possible answer: the US is firmly against it while the UK is for it
7.       For religious reasons, for political gain, because it is portrayed as a back door to euthanasia.
8.       Contain costs and ensure that Medicare and Medicaid exist for future generations.
9.       It establishes a board to identify savings in Medicare, it emphasises preventive care, it finances training programs to pay doctors for achieving...
10.   Withholding care when rather than saving a life it serves only to prolong misery for a little while
11.   The programs kick in late, good palliative care is not free
12.   Because the whole program may be threatened
13.   They are a kinder way to death
14.   We should all die so well, possible answer: dying happily and peacefully

Monday, October 15, 2012


By: David Biello
Published: Monday, October 1, 2012; The Scientific American; www.scientificamerican.com Alternatively, just google the title and author’s name
Level of Difficulty: **
.·         How to fight desertification and reverse climate change  https://www.ted.com/talks/allan_savory_how_to_green_the_world_s_deserts_and_reverse_climate_change
The case for optimism on climate change https://www.ted.com/talks/al_gore_the_case_for_optimism_on_climate_change
1.       The example of flooding and that of the mining of tungsten are provided to prove that............................................................................................................................
2.       Communities can only become more resilient in the current climate if.........................
3.       There is a negative correlation between ................................. and ................................according to the text.
4.       Read paragraph 5 carefully. What is the fundamental point the writer is trying to make? Use your own words.
5.       What are the three reasons why “we are not winning the war on hunger”?
6.       According to experts, the purpose now is “keeping people home rather than trekking to refugee camps”. Give three examples of measures that help achieve this aim.
7.       What does “That” in the phrase “That may improve economic circumstances” in paragraph 9 refer to?
8.       What is the negative impact of urban migration?
9.       What does “this” refer to in the phrase “this humanitarian program” in paragraph 12 and how is the program financed? You will need to tweak the text.
10.   LifeStraw reduces carbon dioxide emissions as it reduces the demand for .............................. which in turn reduces the need to ..........................................................
11.   What does “that” refer to in the last line of the text?
Write a problem solution essay on how to provide sustainable development. Use the points below – which have been taken from the text – and add any others you feel suitable.
-Rethinking programs to reduce greenhouse gases by making bio fuels (takes food away, destroys habitats and alters the balance of nature)
- Investing in agricultural innovation (modern farming technology, know how, machinery, gm crops that grow in harsh climates, innovations like LieStraw)
- Providing preventative humanitarian assistance
This topical text involves a very important issue, which students need to be aware of. It is good reading unlike similar texts of this kind and lends itself to a lovely essay to boot.
1.       Environmental, humanitarian and economic challenges do not exist in isolation but that is how the world most often deals with them.
2.       The methods used to address both poverty and global warming are rethought.
3.       Resolving the energy poverty; preventing catastrophic climate change.
4.       Possible answer: Africa can’t survive; live without aid
5.       The impact of climate change; the lack of investment in agricultural innovation; the devastating impact of food aid on local farmers.
6.       Cash grants, selling off livestock, providing fodder for lactating goats.
7.       Moving to the city
8.       Increase in the impact of natural disasters
9.     Programs to deliver  family size capacity versions of LifeStraw; by selling carbon dioxide emission reductions
10.   Firewood; cut down trees
11.   Giving upfront dollars and hoping

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


By: Sue Shellenbarge
Published: The Wall Street Journal, September 26, 2012; http://online.wsj.com Alternatively, just google the title and author’s name
Level of Difficulty: ** (This is an easy level** but a tough level* to be quite honest)
-          Are there particular times of the day when you are at your best?
-          At what time of the day do you prefer to be doing mentally taxing work?
-          Do you think there is a reason for this?
-          What time is best for sports in your view?
-          Is there a reason for this?
-          Do you think your body clock affects your activities online? If so how?

  A peak time for everything
  1. What does “its” in the phrase “and its effects on energy and alertness” refer to?
  2. What do people plan their lives according to?
  3. What is the up side of planning our lives acc to our body clocks?
  4. Why can taking a shower in the morning “jump start the process”?
  5. Why do a majority of people have trouble concentrating from noon to 4p.m.?
  6. What surprising discovery was made as a result of the 2011 study with 428 students?
  7. What is the reason for this positive correlation between tiredness and creativity?
  8. Why is it especially hard to adapt our body clocks to our working lives?
  9. Why is it better to send emails early in the morning?
  10. What surprising discovery about the nature of early morning tweets was made as a result of the study with 2.4 million Twitter users?
  11. What is the reason for the above?
  12. Why do posts made in the evening on Facebook get more likes?
  13. For what two reasons do the tweets sent before bed time involve strong feelings?
  14. For what two reasons is it better to schedule a game of tennis or squash sometime in the afternoon?
  15. The experiment with 25 experienced swimmers proved that...................................................
This activity has turned out to be a tough level* but an easy level**; it sometimes happens. If you use it early on, be prepared to provide help and guidance. If, on the other hand, you use it later on, time them 40 minutes. The text does come up with some revelations which should lead to a healthy discussion. I haven’t got a writing task for this one so if you think of something creative, get back to me.
  1. The body clock’s
  2. Workday demands, community social events and kids’ schedules
  3. It gives us an edge in life.
  4. Because it raises body temperature
  5. Because alertness tends to slump after eating a meal.
  6. Fatigue boosts creative powers; or, students’ performance on tasks involving novel thinking was best at non-peak times of the day.
  7. Fatigue may allow the mind to wander more freely, to explore alternative solutions.
  8. Because everyone’s body clock is different.
  9. They are most likely to be read.
  10. Users are most likely to tweet upbeat, enthusiastic messages between 8 a.m. and 9 a.m.
  11. Sleep is refreshing and leaves people alert and enthusiastic.
  12. Because people are less stressed at that time of the day.
  13. People are tired out by the workday; they are freed from the workday’s stresses and demands.
  14. Muscle strength tends to peak between 2 p.m. and 6 p.m.; eye hand coordination is better.
  15. Body rhythms hold true regardless of how much you have slept or how recently you have eaten.

Monday, October 8, 2012


Check out a website my friend Ebru McCallum has discovered: coursera.org. The website has been set up by academics and experts who believe university education should be free and offers free courses in many different fields from computer science to humanities. Incidentally, we are not talking basket weaving so check it out. You might find courses that interest you in your chosen field or another subject and improve your English as well.


By: Elizabeth Bernstein
Published: October1, 2012; The Wall Street Journal; http://online.wsj.com  Alternatively, just google the title and writer’s name.
-          Read the title of the text. Do you think people say and do things online that they would never do face to face?
-          What do you think the reasons for this might be?
As you read the text, make notes on the reasons for rudeness online and any other information you consider relevant.
1.       Read the story of the pitbull to the end. Why exactly did Jennifer Bristol’s old friend, the ER doctor, unfriend her? Answer in your own words.
2.       What does “That” refer to in the sentence “That unleashed a torrent”?
3.       For what two reasons does the writer think anonymity is not the reason for rudeness?
4.       Why exactly does Facebook lower our self control?
5.       What interesting parallel does Keith Wilcox mention? You will need to tweak the text.
6.       What bad habits and life style factors were observed in subjects in the study involving 541 Facebook users?
7.       What interesting conclusion was reached in the third study?
8.       What is the consequence of not being face to face with the person we are addressing and the resulting lack of inhibition?
9.       Why do people feel especially offended by a thoughtless remark on Facebook?
10.   Read the story of Mr. Bolcik to the end. For what two reasons does he post extreme and controversial comments? Do you agree? Discuss.
11.   How does he deal with a flare up that spirals out of control?
Imagine you work for a popular daily and your editor has asked you to write a summary of this text to be included in the paper.  Use your notes to write the summary.
I believe that it is always a good idea to cover material the students are familiar with to facilitate discussion and the voicing of opinions. This text is a good example and should generate plenty of discussion. The text is well organized and easy to make notes on so the summary should be a doddle too. If you have never shown students how to make notes on a reading text, you may want to make notes together on the board.
1.       Possible answer: He considered her responsible when he was the victim of some harsh language.
2.       In 15 years doing this, I am yet to see a golden retriever bite that had to go to the operating room or killed its target.
3.       Because on many websites we aren’t as anonymous as we think and even when we reveal our identities we still misbehave.
4.       When we have an inflated sense of self, we tend to exhibit poor self control.
5.       Poor self control and an inflated sense of self are often displayed by people impaired by alcohol as well as people on Facebook.
6.       Binge eating, they have a greater body mass index, more credit card dept and a lower credit score.
7.       People who spent more time on Facebook were more likely to give up on difficult tasks more quickly.
8.       Aggression online.
9.       Because Facebook promises us a face and a place where we are going to have friends.
10.   He is interested in how people who have different opinions think; for the entertainment purpose
11.   He privately messages one of his attach dog friends.

Friday, October 5, 2012


I would like to announce that my 9th article to date has been published in Humanizing Language Teaching Magazine, hltmag.co.uk. It concerns syllabus design so if you are interested, visit the site and click current edition. You will find my article under major articles

Thursday, October 4, 2012


Published on Psychology Today: http://www.psycholgytoday.com ; Published: March11, 2011
Level of Difficulty: ***
Copy paste the following link and take the test to see if you can take criticism:
Read the first four paragraphs of the text and answer three questions:
1.       The examples stated in the first paragraph are described as: …………………………………………………
2.       How damaging can criticism be? Prove your answer with information from the text.
3.       What is the function of paragraph four? Is this where you have been taught to have it? Which is more effective?
Read on to the end of paragraph nine and answer four more questions:
4.       What does the phrase “coaches spew diatribes-cum-feedback” mean?
5.       What rather surprising example of human inaptitude is mentioned in this section?
6.       What seems to be the reason for the above mentioned human failing?
7.       Why do we seem to react so strongly to negative criticism?
Read on until the end of paragraph fifteen and answer four more questions:
8.       Cacioppo states that “Most people respond more to the bad than to the good”. How does the writer qualify this statement?
9.       How should the writer have responded to her boss’ assessment of her performance? Answer in your own words.
10.   Why did the kindergarten teacher assume that her supervisor’s query was criticism?
11.   Which sentence in this section best summarizes the ideas expressed in paragraphs thirteen and fourteen?

Read on until the end of paragraph nineteen and answer the following question:

12.   Ashkanasy’s conversation with the assistant he planned to dismiss and the questions Gray suggests are examples of what criticism should be like because ……………………………………….

Read on until the end of paragraph twenty-five and answer two more questions:

13.   Why is the discipline problem in a family with one stepparent only dealt with when the natural parent lends support?
14.   Why does both criticism and praise coming from a peer in the workplace upset one?

Read on until the end of paragraph thirty-four and answer four more questions:
15.   Match the following based on information in this section:
The source of criticism: Angry confrontation, a disappointed tone, critical expression of disappointment.
The recipient: Elicits a healthy debate, makes them more other directed or group oriented,  people go on the defensive.
16.   What biological difference is there between adults and young children in terms of reaction to criticism?
17.   Why does negative feedback provoke quite so much negative feeling in everyone according to the writer?

Read on to the end of the text and complete the questions:

18.    Why are issues concerning individual preferences and needs specially hard to resolve?
19.   Why can a quarrel about the planning of a family vacation metamorphose into a serious argument as to whether the spouse values family time?
20.   What are the two fundamentals ways to make up in the case of a bust up like the one described in this section?

Write a problem/ solution essay on how to provide criticism in the most effective way. Consult the 8 rules of effective feedback and group them as follows under the topic sentences and thesis statement provided.

Thesis Statement: There are some rules that need to be followed if constructive criticism is to be well received and acted on

First developmental paragraph
Topic sentence: The status of the critic, the timing of the criticism and the nature of the opening remarks are of utmost importance. Use points 1, 2 and 3 in the appropriate order.

Second developmental paragraph
Topic sentence: The state of mind of the critic is also significant. Use points 4 and 5.

Third developmental paragraph
Topic sentence: The nature of the criticism and the way it will be received should be given some thought too. Use points 6, 7 and 8.

This wonderfully informative text would be a good starting point for problem/ solution essays. Remember to have plenty of discussion while working through the text to facilitate the writing task.
1.       Harrowing experiences with negative feedback.
2.       Very; it may threaten our identity or very survival.
3.       Thesis. For effect. Better this way.
4.       Yell or bark directions
5.       So much of our learning, loving and living depends on negative feedback that you’d think people would be good at it by now.
6.       We’re not trained in either getting or giving criticism
7.       Courtesy of our sympathetic nervous system; it is almost as if our brains are fine tuned to apprehend negative criticism.
8.       Electrical activity in the brain spikes more strongly in response to negative stimuli than to equally potent positive ones.
9.       She should have enjoyed the criticism and taken on board the criticism.
10.   Our brains seem to be wired to turn neutral phenomena…
11.   What hurts most in negative feedback then isn’t the overt content of the message so much as the threat of exclusion.
12.   They emphasized inclusion not dismissal.
13.   Because the stepparent is not seen as eligible; because the child doesn’t feel he is entitled or qualified.
14.   Both are things someone in authority would do.
15.   Disappointed tone elicits a healthy debate; angry confrontation makes people go on the defensive; critical expression of disappointment makes them more other directed or group oriented.
16.   Children’s brain centers responsive to negative feedback haven’t yet come on line.
17.   Because it exposes you to yourself.
18.   Because the exterior realm of authority and competition gives way to the subjective interior of emotion.
19.   Because with intimate relationships, task oriented and ask oriented criticism blends.
20.   To hear each other and hug in the end. This answer is repeated throughout the section so any one will do.